The morning of our c-section, we had a really nice normal morning with our girls. Aaron's mom and my mom came over. His mom was staying with the girls, and my mom was coming with us to the hospital. We packed up the car with my 5 million hospital bags, prepared for the possibility of a long stay for our newest baby girl, and began saying our goodbyes to Isabelle and Mackenzie. The goodbyes were hard for the girls and for us. I couldn't help but hug them a little tighter, and kept thinking that it was the last time it would just be us as a family of 4. My little girls were about to become big sisters; Isabelle again, and Mackenzie for the first time. All the emotions we're running through me, and when we got to the car I cried like a baby. The next time I'd see them, we'd be a family of 5.
My c-section was scheduled for 1pm, so we arrived at 10:30am to get my pre-labs done, and settle in. Once we were settled, we were told they couldn't take me until 7pm, and then told me it would be pushed to 3pm because there was no room in the NICU for our baby until around 4pm. I had been fasting since midnight, and I was so hangry and thirsty that I thought I might punch someone in the face. But Aaron and my mom were waiting so patiently, and my nurse was so sweet, that I tried to calm down and just go with it. Besides, what could I really do about it? Nothing. I did ask for some water, so the nurse obliged but told me only 3 sips. And then she literally watched me take 3 sips, and then made me give the cup to Aaron. When she turned her back I took one more sip just because. Haha, petty much? Anyway... we signed a million papers, met all of the surgeons, students and nurses who would be in the OR, and then we were off.
I walked to the OR with my nurse helping me along, and I held onto my belly for the last time. My belly that had been through so much already was about to go through one last thing. In an hour or so, I'd have no baby in that belly, she would be here! That feeling was slightly overwhelming, but in a good way. Aaron had to wait to come in until I was settled and ready, and I was very nervous without him. I mean this isn't how I birth babies, all planned out like this. I've had my water break unexpectedly, and then an emergency life-saving c-section. I didn't have time to think about it before. It just happened. Once in the OR, I was immediately prepped for my epidural. The anesthesiologist opened my gown in the back which is already awkward because your butt is just out there, and then he invited some students to watch... to which I said "Anyone else want to see my ass?" Inappropriate, I know but I was nervous and it just came out. It took 4 tries to get my epidural in the right spot, and during the few times where it wasn't in the right spot yet, my legs were involuntarily twitching. So that was scary. The anesthesiologist was very reassuring, and made sure it was exactly right before administering any meds. The numbing started, they placed all the monitors all over my, gave me oxygen and started prepping themselves. I was extremely nauseated and thought "Crap, it was that last drink of water! I'm gonna throw-up because I had to have one more sip." They gave me anti-nausea meds quite a few times, and then finally I felt okay. My nerves were getting the best of me, and I kept asking for Aaron. They reassured me he'd be in very soon, and once I was completely numb, he came in, and I was so happy to see him.
It's a very weird feeling to be numb, and unable to move your body, but then also be awake and aware. And even more bizarre to know they are down there cutting open your belly. Once they started, the actual c-section took a bit longer than expected because I ended up having an adhesion from my last c-section, that needed to be taken care of. And how do I know this? They had to burn through it... which may have been the worst thing I've ever smelled. The anesthesiologist put alcohol wipes under my nose until they were done so I wouldn't throw up.
When they were ready to take baby girl out of the womb, our anesthesiologist asked what kind of music we liked so our baby could be born to that music. After we chose, the pressure started. It felt like an elephant was sitting on my belly and like I had a huge, uncomfortable air bubble that needed to escape my body. I was so anxious for her arrival, and those few minutes of getting her out seemed to take forever. I felt a big release, and then I heard the most amazing sound I've ever heard. She cried, and I lost it. I sobbed uncontrollably, and I put my head against Aaron's. I saw the pure happiness in his eyes, which filled me up even more. I don't think I can describe the immense joy, and relief that I felt when I heard her cry. All those weeks I spent worrying about her well-being, wondering if she was healthy, and waiting to meet her were washed away with that beautiful little cry. The song "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran was on, a song that Aaron songs to me often, and in that moment everything was exactly that-- perfect. They took her to check her over and it felt like a lifetime before they brought her to me. They placed her right by my head and put her little cheek on mine. I felt at peace. I was calm and incredibly happy. I wanted so badly to hold her but I was still strapped down. They handed her to Aaron, and his face... oh my goodness- it was the cutest! I don't think I'll ever forget that smile on his face. It was so sweet that it made me start crying again. We got to snuggle her for a few more minutes before they took her to the NICU for platelet testing and a complete check-up.
After they finished stitching me up, they took me to recovery and checked me out over and over until I could move my legs. My nurse, Beth, was amazing and she said "You're only required to be in here for a hour, but you have to be able to move your legs to get outa here and see your girl." So she and I did everything we could to make sure I was only there for that required hour so that I could go up to the NICU and hold my girl!! She also let me see/touch my placenta that they were sending up for testing, which was really cool, and a little gross... but mostly so cool. Anyway, we headed up to the NICU, me in my bed and Aaron and my mom following. And when we got there Hazel was just laying there with all of her little wires, sleeping so peacefully and looking absolutely perfect. Tiny, but perfect. I held her, and I felt complete. Aaron held her. We were so happy, but also curious how long she would be there. We were basically told that her platelets had to continue to rise and stay on an upward trend in order to be released. Her platelets were currently 73,000 and they would be testing them every 12 hours until they felt comfortable with the number. A healthy range is anywhere from 150,000 to 300,000, and 9 days ago after her in-utero transfusion, Hazel's were over 300,000. That means in 9 days my antibodies killed off over 200,000 of her platelets. Because of that and our history, they felt uneasy about letting her go too soon, in case my antibodies were still wreaking havoc in her little body.
We visited her as much as we could throughout the night, and the next day we had plans to go to rounds to get a plan from the neonatologist assigned to Hazel. So we got up and got ready to head over again, but the nurse came by and said they were transporting her over to the nursery in the maternity ward. Now this still didn't mean she could room in with me. They needed room in the NICU, and since she was doing well they were handing her off to our nurses. We waited for a few hours with no answers as to what was going on with our baby, or when we could see her, and I was starting to get upset. I called for my nurse and when she came in, she had my baby girl in her arms and said the most magical words, "She's all yours, Momma." My heart almost burst out of my chest, and of course I started to cry happy tears. More than happy tears; They were magical, miracle tears. It may seem so silly to some of you, and unless you've had a baby in the NICU you might not get it. I was going to hold my baby free of wires, free of the constant beeping, free from weighing her diapers, free of timing your feeds, and most of all free from the constant worry about when my baby will be healthy enough to leave. I got to hold my baby. In MY room. Without wires. I've never really had that opportunity, and it was amazing. So amazing. And you know what else was amazing? The big sisters were also allowed to come and meet her, and then see her everyday after that. In the NICU, there are designated "sibling days" and you have to have immunization records sent in, and you have to be at least 2 years old-- meaning Mackenzie wouldn't have even been able to visit at all. Seeing the girls meet was one of the top moments of my life. They just wanted to touch her, hold her, kiss her, and love on her! They were so interested in everything she was doing, and so proud to show her off to the others in the room. They helped give her check-ups, and even "helped" me breastfeed. 😂 The love that filled our room filled me up to the top. It's a feeling I'll never forget.
We left the hospital 4 days after giving birth, which is a new record for us Wrights! Hazel's platelets had continued to rise without falling, and on the day we left, they were 149,000. They wanted them to be 150,000 for discharge but they let Hazel go on one condition. I had to get her a doctor's appointment for the next day that included a blood draw to check her platelet count. We did, and her platelets were great! Our girl is healthy, and just the perfect addition to our family. The girls are obsessed with their little sister, and Aaron and I are obsessed with all of them!
Thank you again for all of your support, prayers, texts, calls, and love. This journey wasn't the easiest, but it was made easier with all of you. We are so blessed. We did it!!! We beat NAIT again!! ❤️❤️❤️
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