Mackenzie's Birth Story

First of all, Aaron and I would like to say thank you for all of your amazing support, well wishes and prayers. It meant more to us than you could know and we are blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you. ❤️

After weighing the options of being induced or going home, we decided that the pros far outweighed any cons to just be induced and have our baby as soon as possible. Our thinking was that we knew her platelets were up in a normal range for the moment, and that if we went home... I could still go into labor at any time and we would have no idea what the platelet count was at that point. I was already at the hospital, already contracting and the NICU doctor who came to talk to us gave us a really good outlook for babies born at 34 weeks. So we stayed the night to be monitored and then around 4pm on Friday, I was induced. 

I was given pitocin to elicit contractions and started at a really low rate because of all of the contractions I was already having. We kept running into problems because Baby Girl's heart rate was fluctuating a lot especially if I sat up. A team of doctors and nurses would rush into the room, move me all around, put oxygen on me and try to get the baby's heart rate to stabilize. Eventually they asked me to get an epidural just in case anything emergent were to happen so I did. It wasn't pleasant, but I needed to get it in place with all the heart rate stuff going on.  I was mildly concerned that my epidural was not working correctly because only one side of me was getting numb. An epidural is gravity based so when I was laying on my left side, my left leg should have been numb, but instead my right leg was numb. The nurses and the resident assured me that when it came time they would be able to get both sides numb before I would have to push. 

My cervix wasn't really dilating even with the pitocin, so they upped it and also decided to give me a balloon catheter to expand my cervix artificially. Well... That didn't work. It hurt terribly and actually made me start bleeding. The resident who performed the procedure said she did get me to 2 cm and softened my cervix, so it wasn't a total bust! My nurse watched the bleeding and it was minimal so they weren't worried. 

After that, things were really quiet. We watched tv, hung out with my nurse-- who was such a cool girl-- and just waited. Around midnight, my mom, Aaron and I got ready for bed. My nurse said she hoped I'd deliver around 6 or 7am before she got off so she could meet my daughter. I joked that I would have her at 2am instead, so be prepared. I went to sleep and at 1:58 the team of doctors and nurse came rushing in, woke me up and said that Baby Girl's heart rate was way too low. They put oxygen on me and tried to reposition me, which was hard because my legs were numb from the epidural and eventually I was asked to get on all fours and they started ripping my leg massagers off, storing my catheter and throwing blankets over me and they started wheeling me into the hallway. They told Aaron I had to get an emergency C-section and I watched his face drop as another doctor was telling me the same thing and tears were rolling down my face. As I was being rolled away from my mom and Aaron, they told him to follow and quickly get into his scrubs. 

Once I was in the OR, the doctors and nurses were moving so quickly that I began to freak out. They were saying things like "She needs to get out now! Numb her NOW!" The anesthesiologist was doing prick tests on me to see what I could feel, and I could feel everything. The doctors were ready to cut so they said there was no time and I'd have to be knocked out. So I was put under and I was intubated. Baby Girl was born at 2:06am, limp and needing assistance. They very quickly got her to breathe and cry and rushed her to the NICU. Because of the emergent nature of my delivery, after she was born, they had to x-ray my body cavity to make sure nothing had been left inside of me and I had to get antibiotics because of the lack of scrub time.

Aaron was not allowed in the OR because they had to put me under general anesthesia... But no one had told him anything.  He was really upset and had been outside in the OR hallway, pacing because they hadn't updated him. Finally they told him, they were sorry, that he hadn't been allowed back because of the emergency conditions of my C-section, citing the general anesthesia needed for me, but that the baby was delivered and she was crying which was a good thing because it meant she was breathing!

I don't remember anything until I got to the recovery room and saw Aaron and my nurse and I was still really out of it. My nurse explained how the C-section went and the anesthesiologist came to explain why they had to put me under and he took my epidural out. I was given pain medicine via IV and waited for the doctor to come in to tell me why the emergency C-section was necessary. Apparently I had a placental abruption that caused the baby's heart rate to drop drastically. My placenta was prematurely detaching (and in my case shredding) from my uterus. Essentially I was bleeding heavily from the inside of my stomach and making it extremely difficult for Baby Girl to get any oxygen which left her very unstable. It happened very suddenly and without warning but the team of doctors and nurses were amazing and saved my life and our baby girl's life. The doctor told me that because it was such a large and sudden abruption,  if I had been at home, I could have bled out and baby girl and I would most likely have died. 

That statement and the craziness of my delivery was hard on us all. My mom had to go back to our room because she was so upset that she became ill. Aaron and I just sat there and cried. We were so grateful to God, that with everything that went wrong, the outcome was still a good one. I was alive. Baby Girl was alive. We were struggling a little bit, but we were alive. 

It was extremely bizarre to look down and realize my pregnant belly wasn't there anymore and I was very overwhelmed with many different emotions. I felt happiness that they said our baby was doing well, pain and sadness about the way it happened, guilt for being the reason we had to have the emergency c-section and excitement to finally meet her.  It had been 5 hours since our little girl was born and I hadn't been able to see her yet... So that emotion was taking over the others! 

I was still pretty out of it, my legs were still numb but the nurses wheeled my whole bed over to the NICU so we could see her. She was in an isolette with tubes, IVs, monitors and a facemask on to assist her with her breathing. The only part of her I could touch was her tiny, little hand. It almost didn't feel real, as if she wasn't really mine. I cried and told her how much I loved her already.  Aaron's huge hands made her look even tinier and seeing them together filled my heart up to the top.  We held her hand together and just sat in the moment; a quiet, happy moment that was just ours.  

My mom came back too and was able to see her beautiful grand baby and she was so happy.  I wanted so badly to hold her and it really upset me that I couldn't. They reassured me that I would be able to soon and that had to be enough for now.  We officially named her, Mackenzie Michelle Wright, blew her kisses and repeated how much we loved her and went back to our room. 

The very next time we went back to the NICU, they allowed us to hold her and honestly that's when it felt real for me. She was real, she was alive and she was ours. I began talking to her and Mackenzie recognized my voice, looked up at me and gave me a little half smile. Tears fell, my heart just about exploded and I knew that it had all been worth it. 

As of now, Mackenzie still has a tube down her throat to drain any excess swallowed blood from my placenta abruption, and she is receiving IV nutrition.  Her breathing is still shallow, but she isn't gasping for air anymore so her breathing mask has been removed. She's doing well overall and her platelet counts have been amazing. Isabelle has come to visit Momma and Daddy but hasn't been able to visit her baby sister yet. We've showed her videos and pictures and she really liked them. We need her immunizations record faxed over and couldn't get them until Monday, so by Wednesday she should be able to meet her and we cannot wait!!! I'm doing well also, obviously tired and sore-- I'm waiting to hear about a blood transfusion because my blood counts have all been low. But considering everything, my doctors are pleased with my progress. 

Thank you all once again for your amazing support, we love you all and are so very happy to be a family of 4 now. 💙💜💗💗

Fetal Blood Sampling

So as I sit in my hospital bed to write this I realize... This post is probably not going to be as eloquently written as those previous to it... My apologies.

We had our Fetal Blood Sampling today and it really didn't turn out the way we had hoped and prayed it would. We got to Johns Hopkins at 8:40am, checked in, got my IV started and blood taken. We then had an ultrasound to check Baby Girl's position and size. She was 5 pounds 8 ounces and they said she was in an awesome position for the procedure. Lots of nurses and doctors came in to introduce themselves and I signed a bunch of consent forms. We had to wait a bit for the blood bank to get the platelets and blood ready just in case... so by the time I headed back to the OR, it was around 11:15am. They began to walk me back and told Aaron he had to go to the recovery room to wait for me. I started to freak out and told them we were told he could be in there with me. The nurses said they would check on it and let me know. My eyes instantly welled up with tears as I walked away from him. I needed him to be there. I needed him. 

Once we got into the OR, they started to cover me, strap my arms and ultrasound my belly again. The anesthesiologist could see me starting to panic which also showed with my heartbeat, because Aaron wasn't there yet. She was SO sweet, held my hand and tried to distract me as tears rolled down my face. I asked Dr. Blakemore if Aaron was coming and she reassured me he was and was just getting dressed in his scrubs. Finally he came in... And I could breathe again. The doctors and sonographer were upset because of course Baby Girl moved into a not so optimal position. They took a bit to figure out where to place the needle and as they did I began to get Betadine painted on my belly and a privacy sheet was going up between my face and belly. I got a dose of anti-anxiety meds and they began to numb me.  Once I was numb, they started and I was terrified. 

I couldn't see but Aaron could and he said when the needle entered my stomach he could see it come in on the sonogram.  It was super uncomfortable, and borderline painful. Every time the needle would come though my uterus I would have a contraction and the needle would even start to bend due to the pressure of each contraction.  I also started having back labor, which is the worst pain ever and I couldn't move--which was so hard for me!  The anesthesiologist had given me the most pain medicine she could and it felt like she gave me nothing. It took an extra hour longer than expected and I was starting to freak out toward the end. I wanted so badly to move to relieve the pain and I started getting hot, wanting all of the blankets off of me. Aaron was my lifesaver, reassuring me that it was almost over, asking questions for me and just holding my hand and telling me how amazing I was doing. Positioning had to be perfect to get a sample for the baby and Aaron could see the difficulty they were having to get all the moving parts in place. Once they did they were able to take samples but the highest platelet sample they took was only 21,000 and some of the other samples were as low as 5,000. To give you some perspective, they were expecting them to be around 100,000-200,000. When we heard that, I broke down. They had to give Baby Girl a platelet transfusion and then pulled a last sample that showed she had a count of 207,000-- but no one knows for how long.

Once they gave me the go ahead to move, I sat up and tried to relieve my back labor pains and just cried. The looks on the doctor's faces were clear, even through their masks. They were shocked and you could see they felt for us. Aaron hugged me tight and told me how proud he was of me. I just continued to cry. The IVIG didn't do what it was supposed to... But my doctor said it kept her from having a bleed, or dying-- so it was still worth it. Apparently in this super rare disorder, I'm in that bottom 5% that is considered an anomaly... They don't know why it didn't work as well as it should have. 

We came to recovery, I still couldn't stop crying. They told me I had to stay and be monitored because I was still having contractions. The doctors and nurses all told me how amazing I did and kept saying I was a "trooper" and they've never seen contractions so strong or long during the procedure. The doctors then gave me 2 options... Have the baby the next day while we know her platelet counts are up, or wait 10 days, have the procedure again (and most likely another platelet infusion for Baby Girl) and deliver at 36 weeks. We are still at the hospital because my contractions are still coming. We are still weighing our options and still trying to decide what would be best for Momma and Baby. Please keep us in your prayers. ❤️

New Year, New Challenges, New Countdown!

Happy New Year!!! I am officially 8 months pregnant and we have been so busy over the past month.  Isabelle turned 2 and had the best birthday ever!!  It was Winter Break for me and with Christmas, friends visiting from out of town and New Years, we have been going nonstop! 

 

Because of how busy we were, and how much I was standing, holding Isabelle, and running around with her, I started getting some pretty gnarly Braxton Hicks contractions (which I didn't really get with Isabelle) and they were super uncomfortable.  I read to drink more water... which is funny to me considering how MUCH water I already drink with my treatments... but I did and they seemed to subside.  But then, at night I started to get real contractions in the bottom of my belly.  Some were so bad that I was scared enough to call the doctor... but they were irregular and I couldn't time them so I would just suck it up until they passed.  I think it was just Baby Girl telling me to slow down and put my feet up, which is super hard for me.  I know we are ready for the arrival of the new baby, but I constantly run through the million things I still need to do and I can't sit still.  Over the past few days, the contractions have calmed down so I hope that they will stay that way, even when I go back to work. 

My weekly IVIG treatments have continued and will continue until I have the baby.  I was recently given a new rate which has cut almost an hour off of my treatment and that feels amazing!  My nurse has been having trouble finding veins that won't collapse or roll away for my IV's and it makes the process so nerve-racking and scary all over again.  Last time, she stuck me unsuccessfully 5 times over the course of 3 hours.  3 of those times the needle ended up leaving some pretty ghastly bruises and those spots were super sore as well.  Eventually she had to call in another nurse and she ended up using this crazy flashlight thing to see my veins, to make sure she would only have to stick me once.  They were told they absolutely had to get the IV in because I had already taken my medicine out of the refrigerator to thaw overnight and it was room temperature.  So it had to be done THAT day.  My original nurse started at 7:30am but by the time the second nurse got the IV started, it was nearing 11:00am--which meant my treatment lasted until about 6:30pm.  It was an 11 hour ordeal that I NEVER want to happen again.  I tried my best to just stay strong and positive, but all I really wanted to do was cry.  It hurt, I was frustrated and felt very defeated.  I didn't want to seem weak or make my nurse feel any worse than she was already feeling, so I just held it in until later that evening and cried my little eyes out, worrying about how my last few treatments would go with my veins giving out. 

We have continued to have the bi-weekly middle cerebral artery brain scans on Baby Girl and she has passed the test every time!!  It has been harder and harder to get readings because her skull bone has thickened as she's gotten bigger.  The last time was a bit scary because they couldn't give me the instant answer that they usually do.  Baby Girl was face up and the sonographer was having an extremely difficult time grabbing the pulse of the middle cerebral artery for long enough to get an accurate reading.  They had to consult with my doctor and then call me if there was a problem.  Luckily I received no phone call and in this case, no news was good news.  It was not fun waiting around to see if I was going to be called, so I hope that never happens again!  Also at her most recent sonogram, they estimated that she weighs about 4 pounds and 3 ounces and is measuring 33-34 weeks gestational age (about 1-2 weeks ahead).  

After our last regular doctor's appointment, we have official dates for the procedure and induction.  I will be having the FBS (Fetal Blood Sampling) on January 14th and as long as it goes well and the baby's platelet count is in a normal range, I won't have to do it again and I can be induced on schedule.  Dr. Blakemore will be performing the FBS and she has been very informative and supportive of my million questions and concerns.  I found out they are opting out of giving me an epidural and that instead I will be given a small dose of anti-anxiety medicine to calm both me and the baby down, as well as a local anesthetic.  My recent blood work indicated that I have become slightly anemic and I will be going in before the FBS procedure to have even more blood work done to make sure everything is alright.  I was told that it is entirely possible for me to go into labor after the procedure and very probable that I will have contractions-- so I had to take off of work the day after the procedure so I can be on bed rest as not to exacerbate the inevitable contractions.  I'm so incredibly anxious/nervous/scared about the procedure and I just can't shake it.  I try to talk myself through it, tell myself it's going to be okay and also tell myself it's not worth worrying about until it is actually happening... but none of those things work.  It's always lingering in the back of my mind and I just can't escape it.  One of the ridiculous things that I'm anxious about is that fact that I will be awake in an operating room filled with 10-15 people (most of whom are strangers) and I will have to be naked under my hospital gown.  Yes, yes... I know it's for sterility and I will be draped but what the heck?!?  I keep telling my doctor that I will be wearing underwear and if they have to cut them off for some crazy emergency, so be it.  But I refuse to be awake and naked, it's awkward... lol.  Ridiculous I know... but I already feel like I have no control in the situation and that's the one thing I feel I can control.  I will be extremely relieved when it is all over.

I am scheduled to be induced on February 1st around 8:00pm.  We are hoping to actually have the baby on February 2nd because it's my Grandma's birthday and the date will be 2/2 (and that goes nicely with Izzie's birthdate of 12/12).  I delivered Isabelle very quickly, so our plan might not work... she could come right away after the induction starts or be stubborn and take forever to come.  I guess we shall see!!  I feel more nervous for delivery this time than last time, and I'm not sure if I'm just worried about the complications that could happen or if it's kind of freaking me out to have a specific date and time.  I am also really worried about leaving Isabelle behind because she has never spent a night without at least one of us with her.  I'm sure she will be okay but this Momma is going to miss her and I know she is going to miss us.  I am really looking forward to her meeting her baby sister though.  It's going to be one of those moments I remember forever and I'm sure I'll cry... but I'll preemptively blame that on my raging hormones lol.  We keep wondering what she will look like, and if she will look like Isabelle.  Baby Girl's sonograms look a lot like Izzie's newborn pictures, so I think they may end up looking similar. 

Going back to work this week is going to be harder than in the past, I just know it.  I have enjoyed my time with Isabelle during Winter Break so much and have been feeling all the feels about everything we do together.  I can't help but think, "this is the last time it's just her, as an only child."  We have had our 2 years together and we have our own rhythm.  That rhythm is going to have to change when baby sister arrives and I just want to cherish all the last little moments that I have left with Isabelle, while she's still my only baby girl.  I can't wait to see her become a big sister and I know that she will be so wonderful.  But for now, for the these last few weeks, I just want to enjoy my first born miracle, the one who made me a mother and the one I loved first. 

I'm sure I will get back into my work routine quickly and really I only have 4 weeks until I'm out for maternity leave, but I have SO much to do.  Unless you are/have been a teacher, or are married/dating a teacher, you don't really know how much work goes into being absent even just for a day.  And I have to make plans to be out for 3 months!! It's stressful and my class this year is a bit crazy... So I am definitely nervous to leave them.  I know I can get it done, but I need to get it done quickly--just in case Baby Girl decides to make her debut early or when I get the FBS done.  We are also looking forward to seeing our friends and family at our baby shower/sprinkle next weekend and getting our maternity pictures done! 

4 more weeks, WOW!! In 4 weeks we will be a family of 4. As hard as this pregnancy has been on my mind, body and soul... I've very much enjoyed it as well. The craziness of it all has become my normal and I feel so blessed to have been able to keep our little girl safe through it all. We are so grateful for our families and friends and have felt so supported and loved throughout this pregnancy. Thank you guys ❤️ It really means so much to us!! Next time I update the blog, we will know if Baby Girl's platelets are normal, so wish us luck and please continue to keep us in your prayers!